我常常和同學分享，托福寫作單靠背誦模板是不夠的。重點在於能寫出漂亮、高分的句子。這樣的練習也是提升英文的關鍵。

但要注意，句子長度並非越長越好！如果句構不當，反而會使句子難以理解或過於冗長。接下來，我將用同學的例子說明如何正確使用 which、when、after 等句構，並避免錯誤句子的產生。

案例一

The countries which benefited from tourism were immeasurable.

句構需思考清楚

  • 問題分析：
    本句有許多問題，特別是 countries 是可數的實體概念，不能用 immeasurable 來形容。此外，benefited from tourism 的概念也不適合放在 which 後，錯誤拼湊的句構會讓人困惑。
  • 高分寫法：
    寫作文時，應該理清思路。這裡的基本概念是「許多國家受益於旅遊業」，應直接表達。修改後的句子應為：Numerous countries benefited from tourism. 簡潔明瞭，避免不必要的結構。

案例二

For example, people often buy the mobile phone which was released recently by a big corporation within a few months when they have just bought the last one simply because of its new function.

省略部分句構

  • 問題分析：
    這句話過於冗長。例如，which was released recently 可以簡化，when they have just bought the last one 也應縮短成更清楚的表達。
  • 高分寫法：
    首先，省略不必要的部分可以讓句子更加簡潔。比如，which was released 可以縮短為 released。同時，將 when they have just bought the last one 改為 after their previous purchase，更能強調重點。

善用形容詞

  • 問題分析：
    原句中，the mobile phone which was released recently by a big corporation within a few months 將大量補充說明放在名詞後，使句子冗長且難以理解。
  • 高分寫法：
    為提升句子流暢度，應將形容詞提前並適當整合，避免冗贅補充。比如改寫為：Consumers are often “too quick” to buy the “latest” mobile phone model released by a major corporations. 這樣不僅使句子更加簡潔，還能保持細節的平衡。

整句調整為

For example, consumers are often too quick to buy the latest mobile phone model released by a major corporation soon after their previous purchase, simply because of its new features.

掌握清楚的句構和適當的表達是高分寫作的關鍵！不僅要避免冗長和不必要的結構，更要善用精簡的詞句來提升文章的流暢度和易讀性。現在就開始練習，試著用這些技巧改寫自己的句子，讓你的托福寫作更上一層樓！

原文發表於：創勝文教電子報 202501 / 01 期・Jan 8